


Love Hurts

by krisrussel



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-06
Updated: 2013-03-06
Packaged: 2017-12-04 11:39:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/710388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krisrussel/pseuds/krisrussel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John reflects on his feelings after Lifeline.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Hurts

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this quite quickly during a boring lesson of math.   
> This was not looked at by a beta, so if there are any weird mistakes, just let me know ;^)  
> Set after “Lifeline”.

The sun shone bright and warm over the city of Atlantis, but its citizens barely noticed as the climate control within the city always held a steady 22.5°C. Only the people outside of the confines of the city walls realized how warm it was outside. One of them was Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, who stood on the balcony, next to the control room. But the man barely noticed the warm rays of the sun. His heart felt cold as ice as only a few weeks before, he had left the woman he loved in the hands of one of their worst enemies. Her place as leader of the expedition had quickly been taken by Colonel Samantha Carter and he couldn’t help but hate the woman for that, no matter how different she was.  
He wanted to be out there, looking for her. But he knew his duties lay here. He would be of no use to Atlantis and its residents if he went missing or died. All off-world teams were keeping their eyes and ears open for any kind of news about her, but he knew that it would be hopeless. The Replicators weren’t really a race that liked to mingle with others. Yet he still read every single mission report to see if someone somewhere had heard or seen something.  
He stared up at the blue sky and even though there wasn’t a star in sight, besides the sun of course, he still wondered if he would be able to recognize the small ray of light of the planet she was on. The chance was quite big that she was still on the Asuran home world, but with the war raging between the Replicators and the Wraith, he really couldn’t be sure about her whereabouts... if she was still alive to begin with…  
John shook his head. He shouldn’t be thinking like that. She was still alive. He needed that thought to keep himself going. He knew that the moment they got any sort of proof that she really was death, he would crash and he wasn’t sure he would ever be the same after that crash.   
Even though he had always been a loner and had never allowed himself to truly love someone, all that had changed the second he had met her. From the moment he had seen her surprised look in the Antarctic base, he had known he was in trouble. And when she had asked him to join the expedition and thus give up his life on Earth, he hadn’t doubted his immediate ‘yes’ for a second. He would follow her to the end of the universe and back.  
But now she was gone and the thought that he would never see her again, reminded him why, in the past, he had never allowed himself to fall in love. Loosing someone you loved just hurt too bloody much.  
“John?”  
The voice and the gentle hand on his shoulder brought him out of his deep thoughts.  
“Yes, Teyla?”  
“We are ready to leave for P4F-645.”  
“I’ll be right there.”  
Life on Atlantis had resumed as if nothing had happened and he hated that. It would never be the same without her.  
With a deep sigh, he turned away from the warm sun and the breathtaking view and followed Teyla inside.  
Life continued, but he would never allow himself to love anyone anymore, simply because it was impossible to love anyone as much as he loved Elizabeth Weir.

The End?


End file.
